Is it Fear or Intuition?
You have completed your birth preparation course, made a circle of "mum friends", written your birth plan, maybe even hired a doula. You have surrounded yourself with positive birth affirmations, and your social media is full of beautiful birth stories. You absolutely believe in your body, and you are looking forward to the birth. You are not even actually worried about the pain, as you fully understand that it’s pain with a purpose, sensations to embrace, and waves to ride.
But then......
You are 14 days overdue and your care providers are pushing induction.
Your waters went 24 hour ago (or longer) and there are still no signs of labour.
Your routine ultrasound suggests there might be an issue with your baby's growth.
You have been in intense early labour for several days now, and you are seriously doubting yourself.
You were planning a home birth but the home birth team is understaffed and they just called to say there would be no home birth service for the next few days.
Your waters have gone but they are brown/green colour and they are saying you need to abandon your home birth or midwife led birth and be continuously monitored on a machine.
You’re thrown off.
And now you have to decide.
You may even have a supportive doula on board, who signposts you to some good information, but you are overwhelmed.
How do you know the difference between fear and intuition?
As a midwife, women look at me, confused, scared, and overwhelmed and they say, "what would you do??"
I can't answer that question for obvious reasons. In that particular dynamic, all I can do is offer generalised recommendations.
Of course you can decline, and I will wholeheartedly support you, but I don’t deny the obvious power dynamic that is often at play in those scenarios.
But even apart from that, I can't tell you what I would do, because I am not you, and I know the situation you are facing is nuanced, complex, and unique to your individual circumstances and personal story.
When it comes to birth, I do not trust ideologies, I trust women.
You are the expert. But do you trust yourself?
What is the difference between making a choice based on fear, (because you’d never forgive yourself if something went wrong), and a decision born out of intuitive knowing?
It's not easy.
In my one to one work I hold space for women who are in this liminal space of not knowing. I can support with knowledge, research, and give useful insight into the situation from the inside, interpreting medical jargon.
But I know that in itself is not enough.
The real work is creating space to look inward, and tune in to the wisdom of the body.
It looks a little like this:
Deep Breathes
Taking Time
Unrushed
A Quiet Space
If you are reading this and in in that place right now, here are a few things that may help to consider.
Fear Shouts
Intuition Whispers
Fear encourages you to hide, hold back, conform, or compromise yourself and minimise your needs.
Intuition feels like something is drawing you to your best interests, even if it’s scary, or not what you had hoped for.
All the best for you as you journey through your pregnancy and birth.
For more information on my intuitive midwifery consults,
Book a Call with me or Message Me
I look forward to hearing your story.